Conflicts in Relationships & Resolution Skills

Every relationship is likely to go through different trial times with conflicts that could be caused by the male or the female, while some of these conflicts result to break up and heart breaks in the relationship.

What is Conflicts: the word conflict is an incompatibility of interest which most times result to disagreement, dispute or argument between two people over issues that are related to their ideas, interest, values, feelings and their needs.

Conflicts can originate from different forms and also could be resolved if followed carefully or it could be deserter if not properly handled.

Two Types of Conflicts

#1. Internal Conflicts: the internal conflict is considered a personal conflict because it has to do with someone struggling with his or her desires and addicts which tend to be an opposing aspect of what they really desires and need in their life.

#2. External Conflict: this is characterized with struggling over something as much as someone that seen to be totally beyond your control. These two conflicts presents themselves in different forms and ways but what is most important is the ability to resolve these conflicts amicably without letting it take control over your life and destroy relationships that you built.

Response/Approaches to Conflicts

Your responses and approaches to conflict situations could determine the direction in which that conflict will be resolve and that is why we advise that every reaction should also have a corresponding action that accompanies it. Your approaches to any conflict could be healthy which lot much better or unhealthy which could be traumatizing to you or your spouse.

Below are some dos and don’ts responses to handling conflicts situations.

Positive Responses

  • Face the conflicts by paying attention and giving listening ears to your spouse.
  • Be willing to move forward with your spouse without holding back or holding onto the cause of the conflict
  • Never display a disrespectful attitude towards your spouse
  • Don’t try to be defensive especially when you are at fault
  • Also see things from your point of view
  • Be willing to forgive and also forget
  • Never push or hit your spouse

Negative Responses

  • Being physically and verbally violent
  • Shaming your partner over their mistakes
  • Focusing your judgments on post mistakes
  • Not listening or giving the other person the opportunity to speak
  • Using hurtful words on your spouse

Tips to Resolving Conflicts

#1. Work on your Emotions: during conflicts, your emotions creates a vital role in keeping you in better position in making the right decision and to successfully resolve the conflicts in your relationship, the following points are very important;

  • The ability to effectively communicate
  • Never give up until you sure that the conflict is amicably resolved.
  • Pay close attention to your spouse to know and understand what is actually troubling your partner.
  • Studying yourself and understanding your kind of person
  • Knowing if your conflict is an internal or external conflict.
  • Focusing majorly on the causes of the conflict
  • Never see your spouse as the enemy.

#2. Work on Your Pressure and Stress Mode: stress and pressure are negative triggers of conflict and this is because of the inability to focus and control the actions that may originate from you to your spouse. This could also result to tension and anxiety leading to overwhelms and inability to respond positively to the present situation.

To easily work on your stress and pressure mode factors, the following points will help you achieve it.

  • Be attentive to what is being said.
  • Let your needs be clearly stated
  • Clearly differentiate between the verbal and non-verbal communications.
  • Don’t be quick to react
  • Focus more on the present causes of the conflict.

#3. Avoid Non-verbal Reactions: non-verbal reactions in the midst of any conflict can send out lots of negativity that can escalate the issues between you and partner and it can cause more harm than good to both of you.

These non-verbal reactions are capable of stimulating and transmitting wrong signals that could trigger anger and aggressions thereby resulting to conflicts in any relationship. The following non-verbal reactions should be avoided and put away in all relationships because they are wrong body languages.

  • Gesture
  • Tapping of foots
  • Avoiding eye contacts
  • Folding of the arms
  • Funny facial expressions
  • Posture

Summary: the above resolutions for conflicts will helps every relationship in communicating effectively and adequately if only is properly handled with humor. Always know that your partner is not to be seen as evil but as someone who just might not always agree with you over certain things in the relationship.

About the author