Are you battling with your temper and how to control it without making things around you to escalate beyond your control or have your temper rap you so many amazing people in your life and also cause you to be lonely because no one want to be in a relationship with you just because you failed in keeping your temper calm.
These easy techniques will guide you in putting your anger beneath you and giving you total control over your temperament and life.
What is Anger: Anger is a motion that can be good at times and also bad because it can cause you to do things that could hurt and destroy what you took years to build. Anger can be characterized with negativity and antagonism towards what you feel is not done rightly.
There are three types of aggression which are;
- Passive Aggression
- Open Aggression
- Assertive Aggression
Passive Aggression: this is a type of anger that is characterized with silence, procrastination and pretence towards what is going wrong to be found.
In this case the persons experiencing this type of anger never accepts that they angry especially when asked if they are angry because they hide from it and never like to be confronted.
Open Aggression: this type of anger is characterized by antagonisms to someone which has the tendency of escalating with rage and lashing out the hurt in them.
In this case, the person experiencing this type of anger can become verbally emotional and also physically tense with aggression which could lead to him or her destroying things, hurting themselves or others around them.
Assertive Aggression: this type of anger deals more with confident and patient even in the midst of the heat. People that have this type of anger have actually have the healthiest means and ways to handle and deal with tough situations just by listening, being patient, talking confidently and taking control with the ability to think before speaking to their spouse and also be willing to be open, considerable and flexible to their spouse opinions over the issues at hand.
If you are dealing with anger and aggression but you seen not to understand the reason behind it or how to manage it, then the above listed and explained types of anger and aggressions will help you know where you belong and how to handle certain situation that has to do with your emotion.
Below are major effects of anger and aggression;
#1. Career Effect: anger has a specific negative effect on your career in such a way that it will be difficult to move to the next level of your life because it will always keep you around the circle , keeping hurts within you and making you unfriendly with people and your colleagues at your place of work.
#2. Physical Effect: anger can put you in an uncomfortable and stressful mode which can result to health conditions thatcan be life threatening.
#3. Relationship Effect: anger has the ability of destroying along relationship that was once built in love. This happens mostly when your spouse can no longer take the hurtful verbal words and actions that may come along with the anger.
#4. Religion Effect: as a religious person, is advisable to keep anger away from your heart and your mind. This is because some people believed that spirituality has a lot to do with the state of mind and therefore the mind and the heart must be kept in a positive state.
#5. Mental Effect: anger plays a big negative role that affects or could destroy ones life with depression. This is because anger makes it difficult for you to acuminate and at the same time concentrate on issues that concern your life and that of people around you.
Effect Of Anger/Aggression
- Heavy heart beat
- Shortage of breathe
- Lack of focus
- Lack of concentration
- Inabilities to hold violence
- Clenching of jaw and fists
- Trouble listening and paying attention
- Verbal abuse
- Quick decision
- Heart attack
- Feeling neglected
- Inadequate flow of oxygen to the brain.
Tips To Managing Anger
#1. Know What Triggers Your Anger
One thing you should know about anger is that is most times triggered by either actions or words coming from the other parties. So is advisable that before you can deal with your anger problems and overcome it, you should be able to figure out or identify the things that trigger the anger in you.
Below are some of the words and actions that trigger anger;
- Lack of consideration
- Not given opportunity to speak
- False accusation
- Jumping to conclusion
- Hitting the other person uncontrollable
- Always talking about the past mistakes
The above points could generally trigger anger in anyone but what really matters is your ability to take control of yourself in order to prevent lashing out your anger or aggression on your spouse. The best approach to these situations is keeping calm, listen and take gently after your spouse is done with his or her complains. In doing this you have allowed your partner to pure out all the heaviness and bitterness in their heart and you will be able to tell them the reason for you actions.
#2. Seek for Help from a Counselor
Why should you seek for help from a counselor or a professional? Anger and aggressions can make you do more damage than good and most times you may end up regretting those words and actions because they were done out of anger and may never be intentional.
lots of people are battling with sever anger problems all over the world and some cant seen to figure out the steps to solve it or might have tried few steps but it never worked for them.
We advise that such persons should seek for help from professional counselors that specializes on anger management and they will be rest assured that the best help will be given to them through some vital therapy and also classes that focuses on anger and its management.
#3. Express Your Anger in a Healthy Way
We understand that there are some situation that one can hold back the temper because of what was said by their spouse to them or the actions of their spouse in cases such as cheating or betraying when tendency of you getting anger is 101% which triggers anger in anyone but what’s most essential is the ability to express that anger in a healthy way.
Below are points to note and steps to expressing your anger better and healthier.
- Give him or her listening ear even if you might end up not being with him or her.
- Avoid being physically or verbally violent
- Don’t make your judgments and decisions in the mist of the heat
- Base your judgment on the present happenings
- Respect your spouse irrespective of what is going on between you both at the moment
- Always be willing to forgive and makes changes where necessary
- Let your fight with your spouse be fair and not violent.
#4. Learn to Calm Yourself down
To be able to deal with anger and aggression, you must learn best ways that are very busy for you to calm yourself down and not allow the already existing issue escalate or result to violence.
To achieve this calmness, you are advised to focus on major factors and practice them in your daily life and activities with people you encounter daily, these includes;
- Taking constant deep breath
- Move away from those people
- Force a smile to your face
- Count slowly number 1 to number 10
- Make use of your sense
- Never take words personal
- Try messaging yourself especially tensed area
- Try changing the subject matter at the moment.
#5. Be Aware of all the Warning and Caution Signs
Being aware of factors and caution signs that could get you angry is another way of dealing or managing your anger. The moment you are able to note those factors with its signs then you will be able to apply the right steps in letting it not to get to you and some of these factors include;
- Lack of trust
- Verbal and non-verbal signs
- Other people talking about your spouse
- Lack of attention
- Misunderstanding and misinterpretation
Summary: Anger issues can be easily handled at anytime only if you know what to do at anytime anger or aggression sets into your relationship and always ask yourself these questions;
*is the situation worth getting angry
*think about what you can do about the situation
*apply the appropriate responses to the issues at hand.
*think about what really worth your time
*can you spend the rest of your life dealing with your spouse all the time.